he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
