so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
