lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
