Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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