are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
