alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
