My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
