you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
