i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
