i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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