For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
