His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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