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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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