Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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