one might say we're banned from that church
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
