Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
