I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
