she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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