Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Houston, we have a squirter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
