I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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