I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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