awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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