i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
