whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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