i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
im on a boat
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