Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
