my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
