Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
