Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize