I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
