why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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