you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
