She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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