You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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