They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
