we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
