It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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