And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
