was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
