I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
