i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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