I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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