Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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