your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Barsexuality is the new black.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
