were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
