Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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