I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
