I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
