I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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