Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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